The news of Sushant Singh Rajput having committed suicide came as an absolutely shocking & sad news. An actor on the top of his career, having realised his dreams of becoming a successful actor in mainstream hindi cinema, rich, successful, in the prime years of his life, loved by audience for his superb performances in commercial as well as mid-way cinema. In the perception of general public, everything was picture perfect. So, what went wrong that made him take such an extreme step of ending his life ?
Well, life is much complicated than it looks. It is proven yet another time that materialistic achievements & success do not necessarily provide happiness, satisfaction & peace. The pain of loss of a young life is immense.
If we look at the whole scenario, we find many young people choosing this unworthy path - those who are struggling and those also who have established themselves.
Why exactly their mind gives in to the pressure - the pressure of struggle, pressure of competition, pressure of remaining successful & on top constantly, pressure of feeling & being lonely at the top or at the bottom & so many other pressures.
Human mind is a great source of energy - positive as well as negative. A positive mind turns life into a beautiful fabric with perfect combination of colors. It does have bright colors representing happy, satisfied moments. But that does not mean it has only bright colors. It also has dull colors representing sorrow, pain & sombre colors representing combination of both. It is not the individual colors but the combination of them, the way each color is treated & accepted in its place that makes the fabric beautiful. Such a fabric is possible only if the fabric is sturdy enough to withstand the tensions & shocks of life. A mind where negative energy dominates may come up with a very ugly fabric and it may be so weak that it may not be woven completely stopping the process inbetween.
Elaborating on the example of fabric further - A woven fabric is nothing else but interlacing of warp - vertical sheet of so many threads together & weft - the single thread that is thrown into the warp sheet by the loom for interlacing. The whole process happens with high tension & speed of modern looms - symbolising modern life.
Generally, the warp sheet is strong as there are so many threads together and also there is a coating of sizing chemical on that sheet. So it does sustain the tension of weaving. It is the single thread of weft that is inserted which may break and cause momentary stoppage of loom & hence, weaving stops momentarily. But the moment, broken thread is taken out & new weft inserted, the loom restarts & weaving resumes in a very short time gap. However, if there is a warp break, it may take much more time & at times, there could be multiple thread breaks making the weaving impossible.
Human mind's fabric also is similar. The warp sheet is nothing else but the collective threads of our basic nature, family bonding & bacground, value system with the coating of education. Hence, it is generally strong & sturdy enough to withstand the pressures & tensions. The weft is nothing else but our mind's response to the pressure & magnitude of the situation that life throws at us. At times, if problem is bigger then temporarily we may give a broken response but we recover & insert a new response to the situation & resume life.
However, if there is a warp break ? If we think on those lines, in the first place, why should there be a warp break ? Why so many threads would break together ?
Well, although it is a sheet of collective threads, each thread is individual and its performance contributes to the behaviour of warp sheet. Each thread's performance depends upon its tenacity & elongation i.e. strength & flexibility in the context of mind & life.
While responding to any problem, one should try to be as strong as possible with the help of nature, family love & bonding, value systems & education & do what is right & convincing to self.
However, only strength won't help because without flexibility it would certainly break beyond a certain tension point. The flexibility is important for accepting things & adapting our responses without compromising basic values. Mere flexibility also won't work as one has to have strength of character.
If there is any issue with either tenacity or elongation i.e. strength or flexibility or both, the warp threads may break & cause a tragic event.
This may happen due to some historical mental issues or a phase producing continuous bigger problems.
That is why each thread in warp having a proper balance of strength & flexibility with proper coating of education is essential. It works as our emotional support system protecting the warp sheet.
Apart from this, it is also essential to maintain the loom in proper condition by maintaining its crucial parts, maintaing proper lubrication & periodical checks on working etc. In context of life, the crucial parts are relatives apart from immediate family, friends, proper social circle etc and lubrication in the form of hobbies, recreational activities, socialising in right sense, meditation & anything that relieves you from stress even temporarily & gives you peace of mind. This should be a regular activity - a part of your life. Also very important is periodical checks in the form of communication with self & near & dear ones.
With a proper emotional support system & proper maintenance, our mind can produce a life strong enough to withstand pressures & making it beautiful also giving the mind further strength & confidence that the strategy works.
Unfortunately, if anything is amiss, it may lead to a warp break.
Let us hope that it does not happen with anyone and let us try to work towards that at individual as well as collective level.
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Below extension is a result of a suggestion from my niece Oshin (a master in clinical psychology) to elaborate on the remedial part - identifying the trigger signals & seeking help. Points given by her, blending with metaphor & wording is my handiwork.
Thanks for the suggestions Oshin.
*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*
The question is how to work towards this.
Now, before there is a warp break, is there any warning ? In weaving, if you see one or the other thread breaking in short time frame, it is an indication that there may come a situation of multiple thread breaks. So you try to reduce the loom speed, adjust tension etc. Thus, there is some signal giving warning. The worker who attends to machine has to be vigilant about single threads breaking more frequently in order to take necessary steps like bringing it to the attention of competent officer who can take right action.
In case of life of a person also, such warning signals do flash up. These warning signals could be varied. Like, certain behavioural patterns can be seen in the person e.g. being always sad, talking less, eating less or more than normal, getting irritated/ angry at smallest disruptions of any form, insomnia or hypersomnia, anhedonia i.e. things / activities which earlier used to be pleasurable, also tend to be boring, irritating etc.
Also the way the person expresses himself / herself can also show some warning signals. Like speaking from a negative mindset only, remembering sad/ negative things, social media posts conveying gloomy or negative vibes etc.
The important thing is taking notice of such warnings & acting accordingly. There is no specific worker here. It has to be the person himself/herself (which is difficult obviously) or the immediate family members/ close friends. It must be brought to the notice of that person in a very sensitive & sensible manner. The acceptance by that person & his close ones, about having this psychological issue is the first step. It is so because, in our country particularly the physical diseases are easily accepted but not the psychological ones. Most of the times, they are perceived to be insanity of one type or the other. Another popular belief is depression or any such psychological issues is a sign of weak mind. In fact, as per psychology & psychologists, even creative, intelligent & sensitive mind is equally susceptible to issues like depression tendencies. More successful the person- particularly not having faced with major failures, is more susceptible to depression if faced with one. With awareness about such facts, the acceptance would be easier.
Then comes the step of seeking help - of near & dear ones or professional therapists depending upon severity of the depression. Professional help is always recommended. There is no need to feel ashamed of it. Just like we go to a physician in case of physical diseases, in case of psychological issues, one should seek help from psychologists / therapists. The immediate family members & close friends should help in taking this decision.
In addition to this immediate step, it is also needed to work on long term solutions like making oneself more resilient to pressures, tensions so that the adversities / failures in life can be tackled with more strength & flexibility - tenacity & elongation. It is here - building up this resilience where professional help is very important & effective. More so if properly supported by care, love, affection & listening ear from the support group.
At the end of the day, everyone should remember that life is too precious & it is meant for living.
---- Manish Mohile
Well, life is much complicated than it looks. It is proven yet another time that materialistic achievements & success do not necessarily provide happiness, satisfaction & peace. The pain of loss of a young life is immense.
If we look at the whole scenario, we find many young people choosing this unworthy path - those who are struggling and those also who have established themselves.
Why exactly their mind gives in to the pressure - the pressure of struggle, pressure of competition, pressure of remaining successful & on top constantly, pressure of feeling & being lonely at the top or at the bottom & so many other pressures.
Human mind is a great source of energy - positive as well as negative. A positive mind turns life into a beautiful fabric with perfect combination of colors. It does have bright colors representing happy, satisfied moments. But that does not mean it has only bright colors. It also has dull colors representing sorrow, pain & sombre colors representing combination of both. It is not the individual colors but the combination of them, the way each color is treated & accepted in its place that makes the fabric beautiful. Such a fabric is possible only if the fabric is sturdy enough to withstand the tensions & shocks of life. A mind where negative energy dominates may come up with a very ugly fabric and it may be so weak that it may not be woven completely stopping the process inbetween.
Elaborating on the example of fabric further - A woven fabric is nothing else but interlacing of warp - vertical sheet of so many threads together & weft - the single thread that is thrown into the warp sheet by the loom for interlacing. The whole process happens with high tension & speed of modern looms - symbolising modern life.
Generally, the warp sheet is strong as there are so many threads together and also there is a coating of sizing chemical on that sheet. So it does sustain the tension of weaving. It is the single thread of weft that is inserted which may break and cause momentary stoppage of loom & hence, weaving stops momentarily. But the moment, broken thread is taken out & new weft inserted, the loom restarts & weaving resumes in a very short time gap. However, if there is a warp break, it may take much more time & at times, there could be multiple thread breaks making the weaving impossible.
Human mind's fabric also is similar. The warp sheet is nothing else but the collective threads of our basic nature, family bonding & bacground, value system with the coating of education. Hence, it is generally strong & sturdy enough to withstand the pressures & tensions. The weft is nothing else but our mind's response to the pressure & magnitude of the situation that life throws at us. At times, if problem is bigger then temporarily we may give a broken response but we recover & insert a new response to the situation & resume life.
However, if there is a warp break ? If we think on those lines, in the first place, why should there be a warp break ? Why so many threads would break together ?
Well, although it is a sheet of collective threads, each thread is individual and its performance contributes to the behaviour of warp sheet. Each thread's performance depends upon its tenacity & elongation i.e. strength & flexibility in the context of mind & life.
While responding to any problem, one should try to be as strong as possible with the help of nature, family love & bonding, value systems & education & do what is right & convincing to self.
However, only strength won't help because without flexibility it would certainly break beyond a certain tension point. The flexibility is important for accepting things & adapting our responses without compromising basic values. Mere flexibility also won't work as one has to have strength of character.
If there is any issue with either tenacity or elongation i.e. strength or flexibility or both, the warp threads may break & cause a tragic event.
This may happen due to some historical mental issues or a phase producing continuous bigger problems.
That is why each thread in warp having a proper balance of strength & flexibility with proper coating of education is essential. It works as our emotional support system protecting the warp sheet.
Apart from this, it is also essential to maintain the loom in proper condition by maintaining its crucial parts, maintaing proper lubrication & periodical checks on working etc. In context of life, the crucial parts are relatives apart from immediate family, friends, proper social circle etc and lubrication in the form of hobbies, recreational activities, socialising in right sense, meditation & anything that relieves you from stress even temporarily & gives you peace of mind. This should be a regular activity - a part of your life. Also very important is periodical checks in the form of communication with self & near & dear ones.
With a proper emotional support system & proper maintenance, our mind can produce a life strong enough to withstand pressures & making it beautiful also giving the mind further strength & confidence that the strategy works.
Unfortunately, if anything is amiss, it may lead to a warp break.
Let us hope that it does not happen with anyone and let us try to work towards that at individual as well as collective level.
-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*
Below extension is a result of a suggestion from my niece Oshin (a master in clinical psychology) to elaborate on the remedial part - identifying the trigger signals & seeking help. Points given by her, blending with metaphor & wording is my handiwork.
Thanks for the suggestions Oshin.
*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*
The question is how to work towards this.
Now, before there is a warp break, is there any warning ? In weaving, if you see one or the other thread breaking in short time frame, it is an indication that there may come a situation of multiple thread breaks. So you try to reduce the loom speed, adjust tension etc. Thus, there is some signal giving warning. The worker who attends to machine has to be vigilant about single threads breaking more frequently in order to take necessary steps like bringing it to the attention of competent officer who can take right action.
In case of life of a person also, such warning signals do flash up. These warning signals could be varied. Like, certain behavioural patterns can be seen in the person e.g. being always sad, talking less, eating less or more than normal, getting irritated/ angry at smallest disruptions of any form, insomnia or hypersomnia, anhedonia i.e. things / activities which earlier used to be pleasurable, also tend to be boring, irritating etc.
Also the way the person expresses himself / herself can also show some warning signals. Like speaking from a negative mindset only, remembering sad/ negative things, social media posts conveying gloomy or negative vibes etc.
The important thing is taking notice of such warnings & acting accordingly. There is no specific worker here. It has to be the person himself/herself (which is difficult obviously) or the immediate family members/ close friends. It must be brought to the notice of that person in a very sensitive & sensible manner. The acceptance by that person & his close ones, about having this psychological issue is the first step. It is so because, in our country particularly the physical diseases are easily accepted but not the psychological ones. Most of the times, they are perceived to be insanity of one type or the other. Another popular belief is depression or any such psychological issues is a sign of weak mind. In fact, as per psychology & psychologists, even creative, intelligent & sensitive mind is equally susceptible to issues like depression tendencies. More successful the person- particularly not having faced with major failures, is more susceptible to depression if faced with one. With awareness about such facts, the acceptance would be easier.
Then comes the step of seeking help - of near & dear ones or professional therapists depending upon severity of the depression. Professional help is always recommended. There is no need to feel ashamed of it. Just like we go to a physician in case of physical diseases, in case of psychological issues, one should seek help from psychologists / therapists. The immediate family members & close friends should help in taking this decision.
In addition to this immediate step, it is also needed to work on long term solutions like making oneself more resilient to pressures, tensions so that the adversities / failures in life can be tackled with more strength & flexibility - tenacity & elongation. It is here - building up this resilience where professional help is very important & effective. More so if properly supported by care, love, affection & listening ear from the support group.
At the end of the day, everyone should remember that life is too precious & it is meant for living.
---- Manish Mohile
Excellent Well explained..
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